Report

In response to the hundreds of emails I have received, wondering why there has been no report posted for the last several weeks, I thank you for your interest and support of the Rangers.

With Michael gone most Sundays, we can not convene a meeting without a quorum. That is to say all three of the Orthodox Rangers must be present for an official meeting to take place. All votes on various issues must be unanimous, so with only two members together on most Sundays, no organisational business may be done.

Until Michael returns from college, we can not have an official meeting for me to report to you.

Once Michael returns there will be a flurry of activity to report on, I assure you.

That is all.

Report

Ladies and gentlemen, these are the Orthodox Rangers.

I've had many, many requests from the non-St. Barbara Orthodox crowd, wanting to know what we look like. Well, here we are. To all our avid readers and admirers, thank you for your interest and support of our mission.

We shared an almost tearful fare thee well with Michael as he returns to Texas Tech. He returns with renewed vigor to establish an Orthodox Ranger cell in Lubbock. We wish him well.

The 'former' head of the greeters board was overcome with emotion because of his being made 'Honorary Orthodox Ranger for One Day Only'. I know that there had to be an emotional let down today; he was really excited to receive this honor. We wish him and his family the best as they begin a new adventure under the piney woods of East Texas. Many years to you 'former' head of the greeters board!

That is all.

Report

There was no official meeting today.

Next Sunday will be the official last Sunday for the 'former' head of the greeters board. He will have the extreme honor of being made an "Official Honorary Orthodox Ranger For One Day Only"! Hope he can remain humble.

Next Sunday is also Michael's last Sunday, for a while, as he returns to Lubbock and Texas Tech University. Why he thinks he needs more than one year of college we just don't know. Any way we hope he has better luck establishing an Orthodox Ranger cell in the Orthodox Church in Lubbock than he did last year. Also we will see just how Orthodox Ranger he truly is, if he maintains the goatee he has had all Summer. He is a daisy if he shaves it off.

That is all.

Report

There was an official meeting yesterday.

A unanimous decision was made to make the head of the greeters board (on his last Sunday in our parish) an honorary Ranger for one day only. I know . . . cool, huh?

We also discussed the possibility of the Rangers dressing in a distinctive manner that would identify us as Rangers. The Amish are instantly recognizable by their dress and we talked about the possible benefits of having a similar distinctiveness. The idea was set aside for further contemplation.

Another subject discussed and set aside for contemplation was how to use the present church building when the permanent temple is built. We are thinking of using a considerable amount of the space as an Orthodox Ranger museum or perhaps a Ranger hall of fame.

That is all.

Report

My apologies to all the avid readers of 'The Orthodox Ranger' for not posting a report last week. I just had more on my plate than I could say grace over this past week.



There was an official meeting last Sunday. Without revealing too many of the sordid details, there was much heated discussion about some of the nefarious personal attacks the Rangers have endured of late. Once again, we are Orthodox, we know how to stand up under persecution.



Today, was a true milestone in the parish. For the first time ever, the Rangers took communion together. Many in the parish stood with eyes bugged out and jaws agape as we lined up together and took communion together. Our show of unity and brotherhood stunned many in the parish. Get used to it.


Though there was no official meeting today, we discovered that the head of the greeters board is leaving soon. He is taking a job that will require he and his family to move to East Texas. He and his will be missed tremendously. Many years to you, head of the greeters board!!! We did not have a quorum but two-thirds of the Rangers were there to discuss our complete take over of the greeters board. This is a major step in enforcing our agenda within the parish.


There was a request by a parish member to consider another auxilary to our organization; the PRA (Previous Rangers of America). There are still some hurt feelings over this post. Two-thirds of the Rangers are ready to forgive and forget but one is still holding a grudge. Two-thirds of the Rangers are 'forgive and forget' Christians but one-third has issues. Father's homily this morning, I believe, may have been specifically directed to the one-third of Rangers that hold grudges. I don't know for sure but it sure sounded like that to me.

That is all.

Report

Yesterday's meeting was somewhat subdued. There was no immediate crisis to discuss. All members drove their Rangers and it was a beautiful sight to see them lined up, front and center of the parking lot.

We did discuss the possibility of beginning an auxiliary to our club; the FRA ~ Future Rangers of America. There are a number of teenage young men in our parish who are approaching driving age and we would like to get them thinking our way before its too late and they are driving some rice burning Japanese truck. We have one prospect we began talking to yesterday about the advantages and privileges of Ranger ownership. We are actively trying to influence his Mom in this direction as he will need his own vehicle before too much longer.

Michael proposed that the Rangers line up together for Communion. This was approved. We will do this whenever we do not have other responsibilities at Communion time.

We also discussed some of the blow back from certain individuals in the parish who seem to have some resentment toward our mission within the parish. Those individuals will remain unnamed. We are Orthodox so we know how to stand against persecution.

We discussed how to use Father's absence for the next two weeks and how we might bring pressure to bear on the supply priest to advance our agenda. We are still contemplating our strategy and have not settled on a plan of action as yet.

Meeting adjourned.

A Cautionary Tale

Orthodox Ranger ~ don't let this happen to you.

Report

There was no official meeting today.

Michael did come to church with a one week old goatee. We were relieved as we did not want to discipline him.

There was unofficial discussion of the perceived threat from another group beginning within the parish. There is now an Orthodox Accords group that has quietly begun. Father assures us they are not out to challenge the Ranger's dominance of the parish. We analyzed the areas of our dominance ~ (a) Roy is head of security so we have that covered, (b) Roy is in complete control of the self-appointed commitee, so we have that, (c) we have two members on the greeters board and while we don't have control ,we are able to exert a strong influence on the greeters board, (d) Roy is a tonsured Reader, so we have an ordained minister in the Rangers, (e) Gary is on the parish council and Roy is married to another council member and may or may not have the ability to influence her support of the Ranger's agenda for the parish.

For now it appears we will be able to continue to push our agenda within the parish while keeping a wary eye upon these upstart Accords.

Report

Today was an almost perfect Sunday. The day began with the baptism of the newly illumined infant Michelle. The Divine Liturgy was beautiful as usual and the choir was on top of their form. Following the liturgy, the coffee hour was abundant in food, the fellowship warm and nurturing.

The day was marred only by the appearance of Michael with his face as smooth as a newborn baby's behind. In a direct and blatant violation of the bylaw we voted in just last Sunday, that at minimum a Ranger must have a goatee, Michael shows up with a fresh shave.

After the baptism and before the liturgy we met with Michael outside the building, not wanting to shame him publicly. We sternly confronted him concerning his blatant disregard of our bylaws, our traditions and our sacred observances. He claimed to have made a substantial beginning of a goatee but shaved it off for a job interview last Thursday. He was asked why he didn't just begin again after the job interview and his response was that he didn't think he would have enough growth for Sunday anyway so he shaved before church. He assures us that he will have a goatee for next Sunday.

Personally, I blame the folly of youth. Youth is wasted on the young. Once Michael was regarded as a rising star within the organisation but now there are some doubts as to his future leadership potential. Hopefully, he will recover from this set back and fulfill his potential within the organisation.

Report on today's meeting

I am sad to report that Michael had to be verbally censured because of his lack of facial hair today. It is understood in the club that he must present a certain 'slick' image on campus but when he is home among his own people he is expected to let it go.

A vote was taken and the decision added to the bylaws that all members must exhibit at the minimum a goatee. The length of Gary's hair, beard and handlebar mustache was discussed but it was determined that length should be left up to the individual.

Discussion also took up the issue of whether to establish a presence on the web. Gary volunteered to create this website and will report on it's progress at next Sunday's meeting.

Once again, Roy chose to wimp out and not drive his Ranger. He has received several verbal censures in the past and perhaps the club will consider stiffer consequences in the future. However, the club must take into consideration the possibility of spousal prejudice against trucks as the reason for Roy's rare appearance in his truck at church. A Ranger does have a priority for domestic harmony.

The Orthodox Rangers ride again!