My apologies to all the avid readers of 'The Orthodox Ranger' for not posting a report last week. I just had more on my plate than I could say grace over this past week.
There was an official meeting last Sunday. Without revealing too many of the sordid details, there was much heated discussion about some of the nefarious personal attacks the Rangers have endured of late. Once again, we are Orthodox, we know how to stand up under persecution.
Today, was a true milestone in the parish. For the first time ever, the Rangers took communion together. Many in the parish stood with eyes bugged out and jaws agape as we lined up together and took communion together. Our show of unity and brotherhood stunned many in the parish. Get used to it.
Though there was no official meeting today, we discovered that the head of the greeters board is leaving soon. He is taking a job that will require he and his family to move to East Texas. He and his will be missed tremendously. Many years to you, head of the greeters board!!! We did not have a quorum but two-thirds of the Rangers were there to discuss our complete take over of the greeters board. This is a major step in enforcing our agenda within the parish.
There was a request by a parish member to consider another auxilary to our organization; the PRA (Previous Rangers of America). There are still some hurt feelings over this post. Two-thirds of the Rangers are ready to forgive and forget but one is still holding a grudge. Two-thirds of the Rangers are 'forgive and forget' Christians but one-third has issues. Father's homily this morning, I believe, may have been specifically directed to the one-third of Rangers that hold grudges. I don't know for sure but it sure sounded like that to me.
That is all.
4 comments:
OK, I get it. If Father's homily was to encourage one-third of the super-exclusive Rangers to apply more gentle correction to the wayward, then by extension I must be the one in the homily who requires gentle guidance.
Well, let me tell you a gentle thing or two.
First, the auxiliary group I propose to you is the:
Former Rangers Ineligible to Enter the Deluxe Ranger Inner Circle of Exclusivity - FRIED RICE.
Second, you said, "Many in the parish stood with eyes bugged out and jaws agape"... well, that's happened to me lots of times. So there.
A rival group cometh...Rangers beware...
George, I, perhaps, did not write as clearly as I should have. The one-third is in need of gentle guidance and correction. To hold a grudge could lead to a stony heart and dare I say a stiff neck.
Ahh, now I get it. Sorry to have misunderstood.
I believe I've seen grudge remover on sale at Auto Zone.
Might I suggest that if you were more inclusive, the issue would be with only one fourth of the Rangers (or less) rather than one third, assuming the new member didn't come with his own baggage.
I'm off to put some more mentholatum on my neck.
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